1: out my mind.

"i'm a recovering undercover over lover...recovering from a love i cant get over"

i cant write fast enough
broken pencils on the floor
ink stains on tips of fingers
pages. full. still not filled.
my...365 century lover
seems i cant get over.
you MUST HAVE saved my life
when i wanted to jump ship and drown
must have grabbed my wrist
and pointed gun at my face
whispering...

"i love you and i will not let you die by massa's fate"

lets go. i cant wait.
strapped babies to your back with burlap sack
and pulled me through salty tears
heartbreaking fears
following stars
north south east west
i cant forget
we have loved (at) each point equally
who are we?
if not still holding on to one another?
no longer my lover
but not quite a brother...

i'm wondering...
did we leave notebooks and pens
scattered on tables with drops of grapefruit juice
staining them
running from those who watch us
grabbing bags and fleeing the country
once again?
we must have. i've been burning to find out
what happened then (?)
tired of wonderin...

"man...f*ck this sh*t. i'm so addicted i cant quit. i'm tired of this..."

time for me to make some steps.
easy to blame somebody else (who?)
but not this time.
not this time i wont make no steps?
or not this time i wont blame nobody else?

i am deciding while writing
because thats what you and i do best
translate each phrase lodged behind our heart (do we share one?) [nah]
the love. not dried up. is hidden there.
held hostage begging me for freedom
but not this time...
no.

just out my mind. poppin. and. breakin. for. you.